Outline Paragraph “The Shortest Distance between Friends” by Sang Ayu Kompyang Arisetyawati.

Paragraph :

When we are sad, there are a lot of troubles that we have and we don’t know what to do, maybe a sincere hug from someone can make us calmer.  Maybe, it was the thought of the man in this to start the Free Hug campaign. In the video we can see, the man walked around the street with a cupboard that said “Free Hug” with a capital letter. The man looked tidy with his grey trousers, blue shirt and maroon vest. He was also wearing glasses. The man who has long black hair looked very confident to carry the cupboard from one place to another place with friendly face and smile to everyone. The name of the man is Juan Mann. Juan Mann is the first person who campaign about free hug, he wanted to spread peaceful and love to the world through hugs the other people. He offered free hugs to strangers in public places. At first, people didn’t give any respond to Juan Mann. Some people just saw him, smile, took his pictures and then they pass the man without giving attention to what the man did with his “Free Hug”. Juan Mann didn’t give up, he walked again and tried to get people’s attention.

After several minutes, he met with an old woman. The old woman saw Juan Mann’s cupboard and ask Juan Mann to hug her. This old woman was the first person who gave her hug to Juan Mann. After that event, many people changes their mindset, they began to pay attention to Juan Mann. One by one people around him wanted to hug him.  They hug each other happily, and then they smile each other after they did it. After all people did the free hug campaign, something bad happened. Police banned the Free Hugs campaign, they tried to stop the campaign which conducted by Juan Mann. But, Juan Mann didn’t stop the campaign. He tried to explain the purpose of the campaign to the police. He made petition to get one thousand signatures from people who agree with this campaign. Fortunately many people were touched and support this campaign. They gave their signatures to support this campaign. Some people even tried to talk with the police and hug the police. In the end of this video, the police allowed this campaign. I think the main point of this video is to keep our togetherness as a human who can’t live individually. As we know nowadays, people are getting rarely to socialize with other people who they do not know. In this video, Juan Mann tried to remind us to care about our environment and our social-life. We must share our love, happiness and respect to the others without differentiate each other. Big hug for you who read my blog ^^

Title                             : The Shortest Distance between Friends

Topic Sentence          :

            The man walked around the street with a cupboard that said “Free Hug” with a capital letter.

a. Major Supporting Sentence 1

            The man looked tidy with his grey trousers, blue shirt and maroon vest.

     Minor Supporting Sentence

-          He was also wearing glasses.

-          The man who has long black hair looked very confident to carry the cupboard from one place to another place with friendly face and smile to everyone

-          The name of the man is Juan Mann.

-          Juan Mann is the first person who campaign about free hug, he wanted to spread peaceful and love to the world through hugs the other people.

-          He offered free hugs to strangers in public places.        

b. Major Supporting Sentence 2

            At first, people didn’t give any respond to Juan Mann.

     Minor Supporting Sentence

-          Some people just saw him, smile, took his pictures and then they pass the man without giving attention to what the man did with his “Free Hug”.

-          Juan Mann didn’t give up, he walked again and tried to get people’s attention.

Topic Sentence          :

            After several minutes, he met with an old woman.

a. Major Supporting Sentence 3

            The old woman saw Juan Mann’s cupboard and ask Juan Mann to hug her.

     Minor Supporting Sentence

-          This old woman was the first person who gave her hug to Juan Mann.

-          After that event, many people changes their mindset, they began to pay attention to Juan Mann.

-          One by one people around him wanted to hug him. 

-          They hug each other happily, and then they smile each other after they did it.

b. Major Supporting Sentence 4

            After all people did the free hug campaign, something bad happened.

     Minor Supporting Sentence

-          Police banned the Free Hugs campaign, they tried to stop the campaign which conducted by Juan Mann.

-          But, Juan Mann didn’t stop the campaign.

-          He tried to explain the purpose of the campaign to the police.

c. Major Supporting Sentence 5

        He made petition to get one thousand signatures from people who agree with this campaign.

     Minor Supporting Sentence

-          Fortunately many people were touched and support this campaign.

-          They gave their signatures to support this campaign.

-          Some people even tried to talk with the police and hug the police.

-          In the end of this video, the police allowed this campaign.

Concluding Sentence                        :

            I think the main point of this video is to keep our togetherness as a human who can’t live individually.

Comment                               :

            I think, Osin’s writing is good. The organization and the sentences structure of Osin’s paragraph are good, but she must pay attention with the words that you used. You’re already correcting your wrong words. After all, you’ve good writing. You’re consistent with the tenses.